Sunday, March 24, 2013

National's 2014 Election Strategy Revealed


NATIONAL PARTY 2014 ELECTION STRATEGY

TWELVE  POINT PLAN
  1. Installing a Speaker who does not require Ministers to answer questions. Done
  2. Install a Race Relations Commissioner who doesn't understand the Treaty and will support the Government's race relations spin. Done
  3. Limit the release of damaging information through the Official Information Act. Ongoing
  4. Progress Christchurch school closures quickly so that the issue doesn't continue into election year. Done
  5. Change RMA and local body legislation to ensure central government has control but all responsibility falls on local councils. Almost done
  6. Ensure all mates are well looked after and installed in protected, high paid positions. Mostly done (Don Elder's situation is difficult, perhaps full-time consultant?)
  7. Destroy Labour leader credibility as we did with Goff. Done, little effort needed (bank account issue was a gift from heaven)
  8. Blame Labour, beneficiaries and teacher unions for everything. Ongoing, but may have to back off teachers as they are getting too much community support.
  9. Ridicule Green Party using spin and misinformation. On going (thank goodness we have changed the Speaker)
  10. Schmoozing with celebrities. Ensure John is seen with as many Hollywood moguls, royalty and sports stars as possible. Successfully ongoing
  11. Sell Mighty River. We need to get something sold before the referendum and to save face. On track
  12. Build more golf courses and close more public toilets. Ongoing

4 comments:

Shane Pleasance said...

"You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time"... etc...

bsprout said...

Shane, judging by the polls, National is fooling a good number of people a lot of the time :-(

Unknown said...

I am reminded that here in NZ the favored footgear is Jandals, Gumboots and bare-hairy-feet.

Not many of those danged complicated-to-tie shoelace thingies in evidence.

:-)

bjchip

bsprout said...

bjchip-An interesting analogy to use to symbolise the intelligence of the average New Zealander. While one could very well assume that those with more active grey matter are more likely to wear the most complex footwear, it actually doesn't follow. One of our literary geniuses, James K Baxter, generally went shoeless and the political party with the most intelligent members are often known to wear sandals.

I guess one could spend a precious time tying shoe laces or use it doing something more constructive. :-)